I fear no longer the pain, the pain I for so long seeked to numb. For in pain there is always the hope of healing and in healing there is always lessons to be learned. Lessons that make the pain less brutal, less sharp than any morphine could. No in the most odd and peculiar chain of events I have come to fear the very thing I once sought as my saving grace as heaven and hell did exchange place. No, now I but fear the numbness and the false pleasures it did give, the poisoned oasis in which I no longer wish to swim. I fear the numbness, the numbness and not the pain it once hid. For I fear no longer life's pain, but that I might seek to truly hide from the lessons that it gives and the healing in which I might come to live. I fear the numb nothing of those in waking death. I fear the numb nothing that one can but find in sinister bliss, in void, in wretched abyss.